i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
