plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize