i can't believe i had my finger in that
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
You took a bar mat shot.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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