So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
