id be glad to
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
