I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
my nose is crying tears of wow.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize