great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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