its not stalking. its research.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
