how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
