how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
