Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
