I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
