just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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