We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Last time i carry you out of a forest
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
