u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Someone came in the potted fern
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Randomize
