i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Randomize
