were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
