i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize