I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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