I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
