no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
This house was built for laser tag.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Randomize
