U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I can't turn off my feet"
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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