Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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