Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
