I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
