i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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