you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Randomize
