Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
