She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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