There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
