we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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