One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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