there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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