i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
