I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
