it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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