ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Where is the hickey?
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
