I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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