We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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