Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
