He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
whose parrot is this?
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
