I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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