every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
