He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize