hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize