dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize