What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
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