So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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