it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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