brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
