if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
