and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
