I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
this boner is exhausting
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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