I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
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