I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
