Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
