I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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