I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
