It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
