i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Randomize
