I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
