is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Watching her eat just hurts me
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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