YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Oh god it's open bar.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
