your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
