what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
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