yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
is it fun? or sober?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
