not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
