Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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