So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Be still, my beating vagina.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize