i just wanna soil my oats bro
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
