I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
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