So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Text me some of your sweat
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